A strange thing happened the other night; I felt a moment of actual being. Hmmm... Sounds rather like 'new age wank' as my brother would no doubt say. But I did.
Its a strange thing to receive recognition from something you have put your heart into. I have many times had loved ones and family members tell me how proud they are off me, but somehow such comments mean very little to me. That sounds rather harsh, so I will try and explain what I mean.
Think about your classic Mother... their child can do no wrong, more so, they love their child and everything they do is wonderful, a delight to behold. I remember Lee Evans commenting that his child did a solid poo, rather than the liquid stuff that babies do at first. He was SO proud! Family love you (ignore the arguments and drunken fights) they do. And they love you whatever you do. Although this means that they would be proud of anything you do. Unfortunately this is not a grounds for an accurate appraisal of any kind.
My theory then is that the closer someone is to you, the less their opinion of you should matter to you. Its not an insult to their powers of deduction or their ability to appreciate the finer details of whatever you do, but its because they love you. Only in the cold hard hands of a objective stranger, will you ever find a truthful opinion.
So when I received an email last night from one of my lecturers telling me that an essay I had sweated blood and tears over; had stayed up late re-writing and had enjoyed every hour of research for, was 'excellent' and he just thought I would like to know.... Well for a moment...just a moment before my brain kicked back in and I started to doubt his ability to see through my bollocks, I was me. Or at least a me that I have wanted to be...and a complete stranger thought so!
Never wanted to go to uni for the grades, not interested in the piece of paper. I always just wanted to know if my brain was any good, and if I could use it in some way. Last night, I felt there might just be a chance that I could.
Saturday, 28 April 2007
Friday, 20 April 2007
Storage solutions..
Big Yellow Storage company must be doing quite well. I have just seen an advert on television for it. The tag line was along the lines of: "Don't throw away the things you love. Get some space in your life!".
What a fascinating place we live in. Marx would have us believe that we define ourselves in society by our relationship to a means of production. More contemporary theorists talk of the act of consumption as a methodological construction of 'self', so that we are able to 'make' ourselves in the image of what we buy and consume. (This idea is certainly played on by the fashion companies of the world!) But in that sense, consumption needs to be understood as the obtaining of goods and then the destroying of them to make way for more goods: as one buys food and then consumes it. Yet what happens when we consume goods that we then decide to store?
What items do you store? What mementos or trinkets? Are they family photos? Old blankets and clothes? Kitchen wear you hold back for your children's first flat? And how long do you hold them for? What items would it be worth holding on to, yet not cluttering up a house? And how much would you pay for that?
We live, we work, we consume and the economy of the world continues on its merry way. In consumption, there is a reduction of resources. In resource depletion there will be wild spread poverty. But don't worry... those old books you have read a thousand times, and can not bare to throw away, and that horrible vase your mother bought you that you can not stand, but need available if she comes round, they will be there waiting for you - safely in a little yellow box.
What a fascinating place we live in. Marx would have us believe that we define ourselves in society by our relationship to a means of production. More contemporary theorists talk of the act of consumption as a methodological construction of 'self', so that we are able to 'make' ourselves in the image of what we buy and consume. (This idea is certainly played on by the fashion companies of the world!) But in that sense, consumption needs to be understood as the obtaining of goods and then the destroying of them to make way for more goods: as one buys food and then consumes it. Yet what happens when we consume goods that we then decide to store?
What items do you store? What mementos or trinkets? Are they family photos? Old blankets and clothes? Kitchen wear you hold back for your children's first flat? And how long do you hold them for? What items would it be worth holding on to, yet not cluttering up a house? And how much would you pay for that?
We live, we work, we consume and the economy of the world continues on its merry way. In consumption, there is a reduction of resources. In resource depletion there will be wild spread poverty. But don't worry... those old books you have read a thousand times, and can not bare to throw away, and that horrible vase your mother bought you that you can not stand, but need available if she comes round, they will be there waiting for you - safely in a little yellow box.
Thursday, 19 April 2007
Revision...
I know, I know. Stop wasting time and get back to work!
It's interesting this blog thing, I have wanted to write something else in for a couple of days now, and have not known what to write. Yet with exams looming, revision building up and time running out, I choose now to lay down a few words.
The library at UCL is interesting. There are so many rules, and all of them are broken everyday. People eat here, drink here, talk in several languages and general discuss life here. They listen to music and argue about the weekend; they help each other out and worry about dead lines. So here is the question. Am I getting old or is that all rather annoying?
I can understand the odd nibble, and defiantly a drink: it keeps the brain working and gives the mind a much needed break sometimes. But why the hell do people have to come here and discuss their life?! It annoys me...NO...IT REALLY ANNOYS ME! But then I guess if they can ignore the fact that sometimes I sit here and tap away on my laptop, talking to people rather than working, I guess I can let them off.
Strange... one girl just got up and closed the window on a beautiful hot day. Was she cold? Or did the noise from outside bother her? Aww shame...
Hmmm...My blogs are gonna have to get better than this....
It's interesting this blog thing, I have wanted to write something else in for a couple of days now, and have not known what to write. Yet with exams looming, revision building up and time running out, I choose now to lay down a few words.
The library at UCL is interesting. There are so many rules, and all of them are broken everyday. People eat here, drink here, talk in several languages and general discuss life here. They listen to music and argue about the weekend; they help each other out and worry about dead lines. So here is the question. Am I getting old or is that all rather annoying?
I can understand the odd nibble, and defiantly a drink: it keeps the brain working and gives the mind a much needed break sometimes. But why the hell do people have to come here and discuss their life?! It annoys me...NO...IT REALLY ANNOYS ME! But then I guess if they can ignore the fact that sometimes I sit here and tap away on my laptop, talking to people rather than working, I guess I can let them off.
Strange... one girl just got up and closed the window on a beautiful hot day. Was she cold? Or did the noise from outside bother her? Aww shame...
Hmmm...My blogs are gonna have to get better than this....
Tuesday, 17 April 2007
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